Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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