I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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