Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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