No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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