wat bout pragnant strippers??
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
two words...techno handjob
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
