I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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