peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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