so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
