Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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