Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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