CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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