careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
