Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
that's an acceptable place to lick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
