I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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