Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
