I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize