hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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