I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hippo gnu deer
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
