his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He had one of those small greek statue penises
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
