just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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