Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it because I queefed?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize