party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
