Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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