i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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