Can i not drive my cunt home
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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