i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
