Got a toothbrush?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
