return my video game
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
