covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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