Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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