Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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