Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
