You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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