my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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