Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
