who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
