She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
