I cannot find my penis.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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