I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
