it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
