Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
In America we eat man semen.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
