Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
