laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Less talking, more tequila
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
