Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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