I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
if only i could text you this smell
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
