ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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