When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
sarcasm needs its own font
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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