Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
