i just had sex bonerless
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
