Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
