Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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