nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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