do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
