i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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