There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Are my feet made of real feet?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize