what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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