Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize