I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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