return my video game
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
