so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
