We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
