i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
